Sentiment
by BobbiAlyss
Summary: He wished he could adapt to the various shades of his brother, who changed so often that it was hard to keep up. 'What, then,' he thought, late one night. The wind made goosebumps rise on his porcelain skin as he lay in the grass. 'What, then, would happen, if I were the one to change' Thorki.
1. Chapter 1

**6 Years Old**

He wasn't mistreated. Not at all; he reaped what he sowed. He was a trickster. A liar. Manipulative, deceitful. A _bad child_. And therefore, he was treated badly in return. He told himself this everytime he was screamed at or hit for misbehaving. But he could take those; they were _easy_ to deal with. All he had to do was pretend that he was Thor, and he was invincible. No amount of scathing words or stinging strikes could effect him. He was stronger than that. But there were things that terrified him sometimes. Things that he couldn't be brave around. The dark, thunder, the _cage_.

It was in the attic. The attic was _always_ dark, and Loki absolutely hated being forgotten and ignored for hours upon hours, abandoned, alone. He came to learn that those were his weakest moments. The Thoughts had first begun _there_, in the pitch black. Not even Thor would be able to endure them. But there he sat, knees pulled up to his chest in order to fit into the cramped cage. The room was freezing, and his flimsy robe did naught to protect him as he shivered, his skin as cold as ice. Loki had been in the cage for the entire night, and he was fighting off sleep while hyperventilating and slowly getting closer to hypothermia.

It was _dark_, and the Thoughts came in the dark. They always came in the dark. His heart pounding, Loki tucked his head between his knees. "Go away," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut so tightly it _hurt_. "Go away go away go away..." He knew that it wouldn't work. The Thoughts would stay until morning, until he fell asleep, cold and alone as always. Then they'd return with a vengeance, to haunt him throughout the day. This, he knew all too well, thus he tried to switch tactics. Distract himself, think of something that made him _happy_.

Sometimes - just sometimes - the punishment wasn't all bad. Sometimes, Thor would sneak up just to see him. He'd sit beside him and hold his hands through the bars, whisper words of comfort. Calm the crying, shaking boy. His voice was like velvet, and it soothed Loki with every word.

Loki, now, couldn't help but notice how frigid the room was without Thor's warmth. How much larger it seemed to be. How disturbingly empty, how frighteningly _alone_. How the darkness seemed to envelope him at every possible angle and side, pressing in closer and closer. How the shadows grew and took shape. Loki's pulse was racing. He could see it - what ever it was. He could _see it_. Coming. He couldn't breathe - his chest was unbearably heavy. Loki gasped for air, panicked, terrified, as the darkness shifted and contorted until it swallowed him whole-

"Brother." Loki screamed, his heart stopping completely. Thor smiled, stifling a laugh. "Brother, it is only me! Calm yourself." Recognizing the voice, Loki sighed in relief, reaching for his older brother through the bars.

"Idiot! You scared me!"

"Shh, stay silent so father doesn't find out that I'm up here. Now listen. I have something for you, Loki. A gift. Meet me at the creek in an hour, and I'll give it to you, okay?" Loki nodded excitedly as they linked pinkies in a promise.

Thor pulled him into a tight hug then, and whispered, "I am so sorry about this, brother. If I could change it, I would..." His voice was contrite and sincere, and Loki never once doubted that he meant it.

It was about six in the morning when Loki was released from the cage. He hadn't even bothered to change his clothes before he ran down to meet his brother. And as promised, the young blonde was standing there, waiting patiently. Loki ran to him as fast as he could, practically tackling him to the ground. Thor laughed as he was pushed to the grass, Loki giggling and shrieking in delight.

"Where is it, Thor?! Let me see it! I wanna see it!" Loki demanded happily as he looked at his sibling, his green eyes wide. Thor laughed again.

"Alright, alright! You've to get off of me, first. And close your eyes."

Loki stood hurriedly, straightening his clothes then closing his eyes tight. Thor enjoyed seeing his brother like that; grinning and writing in excitement. He was rarely ever that _happy_. Thor relished the moment for as long as possible before he spoke, quieter. Softer.

"Open your eyes, Loki." The noirette opened his eyes to see a white and black rabbit, in a cage of its own.

Loki loved the animal more than anything. As he watched it sniff around the barn - it's new home - he looked at his brother.

"What shall we name it?"

"Hm... I haven't a clue, Lokes. You can name it whatever you'd like."

His eyes grew instantly. "_Really_?"

"Yes, really!" Thor could hardly contain the amusement in his voice. Loki stared at the rabbit intently, before speaking unsurely, as if he was afraid to say it.

"H-How about 'Thor'?"

Thor's smirk softened into a smile when he heard the suggestion. "I like it."

The rabbit kept Loki busy for a while. Thor was glad to see his brother actually smile, actually laugh. He thought that, perhaps, the animal would keep him out of trouble. Out of the attic, the cage. Of course, he was wrong.

**A/N: Hey~ So ja, this is my third Thorki story. Don't kill me. This is the last one I'll be writing for a while, actually. It's be multi-chapted (I already have them all written, so there won't be a very long wait between them), and of course, with me, you can always expected angst. Always. There will also be heavy symbolism in here, as well as an entire chapter of fluff. You're welcome.**

**This can actually be a prequal to my story, ****_My Prince,_**** and a sequal to my OTHER Thorki story, ****_First Day of_**** School~ I call this the Bobbiverse. Expect more installations.**

**Please leave comments, favourites, follows, criticisms, and whatnot. Thank you for reading~**


	2. Chapter 2

**12 Years Old**

It was Thor's birthday. Loki had known it was coming for an entire year. He'd tried to prepare himself, but he wasn't prepared. Not at all.

"Loki, why are you in here? Come downstairs and celebrate!" Thor grinned, sitting on the edge of Loki's bed. Loki didn't even glance up from the book he was pretending to read.

"No, I'm fine, brother. You go have fun. It's late, anyway. I ought to be asleep." He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep; his stomach was churning in anxiety, tied up in knots. Worry etched on his face, Thor scooted closer and frowned.

"What's the matter? Is there something wrong?"

"No, not at all." Lie.

"You sure?"

"I'm positive, Thor." Another lie.

"You promise?" Loki groaned, setting his book down and staring at his lap. After a moment of silence, he looked up hesitantly.

"You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" Even at his own words, he could feel his heart sink. Thor would leave for training tomorrow, and he wouldn't see him for an entire year. Thor, his sibling. Thor, his only friend. Yes, he had tried to prepare himself. He'd tried for months. But he still wasn't near ready to lose his brother.

Thor's frowned deepened, and he hurried to lie beside the sitting Loki. He stared at the ceiling, trying to search for something to say.  
"It's only for a year."  
"I'll have no one."  
"I'll be back. Promise."  
"And I'll be waiting. _Alone_."  
"Are you _blaming me_?" Thor's tone sounded offended, got louder. Quickly shaking his head, Loki sighed, trying to stop the arguement before it began.

"I just- I'll miss you, Thor. I truly will."

Thor stared up at the raven-haired boy, then grabbed him and tugged him to lie on the bed. He then faced him and pulled him into a tight hug, murmuring. "I'll be back soon. Sooner than you think."  
"Promise?"

Thor smiled, then planted a kiss on Loki's forehead. "I swear it." He draped his arm around Loki's waist and pulled him close, yawning. "Now go to sleep."

"But your party, Thor-"

"I want to be with _you _tonight, brother. Only you."

Loki could feel the heat rising to his cheek, an absolutely illogical response to what was happening. He began to panic - _why_? Was it Thor's words? His actions? There had to be a _logical_ way to explain it, yet logic failed him as the warmth from his cheek travelled down, to gather in his lower stomach-

"Thor, I think you should go finish the party."

Thor opened an eye to glance at him. "No," he tightened his arm around Loki's waist, pulling him closer stubbornly. Loki sighed.

"Loki?"

"Yes, brother?"

"I love you. Never forget that. I maybe gone, but we are still brothers."

Loki smiled, burying his face in Thor's chest.

"I love you as well, Thor."

"Loki. Loki, get up!"

Loki sighed and opened his eyes weakly to see his brother standing beside the bed. "What do you want, idiot? The sun's barely even up, you oaf," he muttered wearily, nuzzling into his pillow. Thor smiled.

"I wanted to say goodbye."

Loki's eyes shot open as he sat up, confused. "Wha...?"

"Get up, stupid," Thor joked, and Loki obeyed, getting up to stand in front of his brother.

"You're leaving? So early? It's hardly even six." He could hear the desperation in his own voice but he didn't care; he just wanted him to _stay_.

"Yes, I know. I didn't sleep at _all_ last night. I was too worried about leaving you... I'm gonna miss you." Loki nodded. "Me, too..."

"And I _do_ love you, okay?" And once again, Loki believed his words. He trusted his brother completely and without hesitation as Thor kissed his cheek. "Plus, you've got bunny Thor. You'll be fine."

Loki cracked a smile as he stared at the blonde. He wanted to memorize every part of him; his face, his body, his scent. He couldn't let him leave. He couldn't.

"Goodbye then, Lokes."

Thor was gone before Loki could utter his weak 'I love you, too.'

As predicted, the year was _hell_, for he spent most of it in a cage.

The rabbit grew an awful lot that year, but Loki couldn't buy it a larger pen. It looked uncomfortable.

Loki spent the majority of his free time in the barn, teaching himself magic. He wanted to make Thor proud.

That year, he learned that the Thoughts didn't need the dark in order to appear. They came too often now. Almost constantly. They were dangerous. They stung, prodding at the back of Loki's mind. Intruding and interrupting his normal thoughts. '_Perhaps it'd be easier if I just disappeared_.'

**A/N: And thus the Bobbiverse continues (as you can see, I'm rather fond of that term)! If you read my fic ****_My Prince_**** after this story is finished, it'll make a lot more sense. Which is a huge coincidence - I had absolutely forgotten about that fic whilst writing this one. The fact that the Thoughts appear in both is bizarre, but totally okay. THOUGH, I suggest you not read it until this is finished. Fluff chapter coming soon-ish.~**


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